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THE FAMILY ISSUES INTERVIEW: MARCH 2003
This is the seventh in an occasional series of interviews with freethinking parents. Rich Sinda is a family practice physician working in five Urgent Care clinics in the Minneapolis/Saint Paul area. He and his wife Jill are the parents of three boys: Daniel (eleven), David (nine) and Ryan (seven). FI: You're Michigan born and raised, is that right? RS: Yes it is. I was born in Dearborn, attended high school in Novi, and then got a B.A. in Biology from Kalamazoo College. Then Des Moines University for medical school, then internship and residency in Family Practice back in Detroit area. FI: And what was your religious experience during the early years? RS: I was raised Catholic initially, but was eventually asked to leave Sunday school for asking too many uncomfortable questions of the instructors. FI: So how would you describe your current world view? RS: I believe we are an amazing product of totally natural processes. Most humans can't accept the reality that their consciousness is going to cease forever some day in the unforeseeable future from unforeseeable causes. Therefore they deny this by believing in an obviously false invisible imaginary place where you can go visit all of your dead loved ones and live forever. It's simple denial. I feel comforted by the fact that my beliefs about the universe and my place in it are based on scientific data or mathematical equations that many people have confirmed over many years. One of my sons made a statement to me when he was 5 years old that really shows that this desire to know the truth is basic. He said "Dad, I want to know what's real." There was a big bang and life evolved over billions of years through natural selection. As wondrous as it was, no supreme being is necessary once you understand these facts and the mountain of evidence that supports each theory. I worry that religious fanatics are going to continue to cause tremendous human suffering and I really do not think that the Jerry Falwell's and Pat Robertsons of the world are much better than the Osama Bin Ladens. They preach thinly disguised intolerance and hatred (in addition to bilking poor senior citizens out of their hard earned social security money). FI: So which of the many philosophical labels do you claim for yourself? RS: I am a humanistic atheist. FI: Describe your early discussions of religion with your sons. RS: I started discussing it with each of them very early - as soon as they were old enough to care or ask questions about the world or religion and 'god'. We always played a game called real or make-believe. I would bring up a topic like vampires or flying fish and say "real or make believe" and they would answer. Before long I was throwing the devil, ghosts, angels and god in. They've all known from day one that I have no belief in supernatural things and they have no problem with it. We occasionally have fun laughing at some of those televangelist faith healers and it shows them how gullible people can be and to be aware of con men. FI: And are your wife's attitudes toward religion compatible with yours? RS: Jill was raised in a Jewish reformed home in Iowa. It's a fairly liberal religion. She now considers herself a Humanistic Jew. She likes the culture and the songs but doesn't believe that the bible is anything more than a bunch of stories. She majored in molecular biology and understands evolution and the evidence behind it. We both decided a long time ago that no two people on the planet have exactly the same spiritual beliefs (concept of their place in the universe) and so we try to avoid the temptation to 'convert' each other to a certain way of thinking about things. Love is much, much stronger than religion in any relationship (at least we believe it should be). FI: How have you talked about, or dealt with, death? RS: When a loved one dies, we comfort our children by saying things like: "They lived a full life and we will always remember them" or "They're not suffering any more." For us, death is just like going to sleep for good - and going to sleep is not painful or scary. FI: And how have you and Jill chosen to expose your sons to organized religion? RS: Our children are exposed to religion at funerals and weddings in addition to concerts as Jill's uncle is a local musician who plays at religious services (even though he is also a non-believer). They always make interesting observations after going. We plan on having them learn about as many different religions as possible (academically) so that they can understand different cultures better and see all the religions for what they really are - myths. FI: What would you say has been the toughest aspect of raising your kids religion-free? RS: The toughest thing about raising a religion free family is the peer pressure and ridicule that my sons have had to put up with at times when their classmates get a little vocal about God or Jesus in the public school classroom. My sons admit their non-belief and argue with them. Some of the arguments have been pretty heated, but my kids have also found some kids who are from non-believing families and that's encouraging. It's sort of amusing, but some people that we know are very religious and have bratty kids comment on how well behaved and kind our kids are. If they knew we were atheists, I'm sure they'd be shocked (and they'd stop praying for us!) FI: You are involved with the Freethinking Families group in the Twin Cities. Tell us about that. RS: Freethinking Families is an educational and support group for Atheist and Humanist families in the greater Twin Cities. We meet for a social event (i.e. trip to a museum, sledding or a pot luck at one of the members homes) once a month. We have an email newsletter that comes out monthly and we are loosely affiliated with the Humanists of Minnesota and Minnesota Atheists. FI: How did the group get started? RS: The group was started by Bruce and Catalina Chadbourn who were very active in a group called UMAH (University of Minnesota Atheists and Humanists). I was watching a local cable TV station one day shortly after moving to Minnesota from Michigan and to my surprise and delight I saw Humanist and Atheist TV shows. I called the contact phone numbers and they told me about the group. I've been involved ever since. |
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