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featured book review: may 2002

"If You Had to Choose, What Would You Do?"
   by Sandra McLeod Humphrey
   for ages 4-8 (from Prometheus Books, 1995)

"If You Had To Choose" is a well-conceived attempt to present the youngest children with situations requiring moral decision-making. To be honest, in the early going I expected to write a much less supportive review, considering the tales a bit canned at first glance. That first impulse was absolutely wrong. The stories work, and work beautifully, at precisely the task they undertake. Twenty-five short scenarios are presented, each a tiny moral play in which a child grapples with questions of right and wrong in a commonplace setting. Each 2-3 page parable is followed by the basic question "If you were Sally (or Billy, or John), what would you do?" along with a few corollary questions tailored to each situation.

In the "Note to Adults," Author Sandra McLeod Humphrey presents the book as an opportunity "to help you talk to your children about values in as enjoyable and as natural a way as possible." Which of the scenarios accomplish this --- especially the goal of naturalness --- may well depend on the age and maturity of the child. Despite the author's promise that "there is certainly no one 'correct' answer or solution to each problem," a few of the situations will strike all but the youngest of readers as eye-rollingly obvious in their solutions --- though for those youngest ones, they are perfectly pitched. In the scenario called "Color Me Different," for example, a jealous younger brother takes artwork out of his talented brother's art folder and substitutes blank pages to embarrass him during a presentation later that day. He pauses, uncertain of whether he should or not. An eye-rolling question ("If you were Doug, what would you do?" --- is there really more than one correct answer here?) is followed by some more subtle corollary questions, including a Golden Rule-type perspective-switcher ("How do you think Doug would feel if someone played this kind of joke on him?").

The parent can and should scan the stories to find those best matched to his or her own child's level. Most of the scenarios are more complex and interesting, including some that can even get the parent headscratching. Do you turn in a good friend for petty shoplifting? My six-year old son had a quick answer --- "yup" --- until I suggested the shoplifter was Sean, his dearest friend in the world. He offered to rat out half a dozen less precious acquaintances if he just didn't have to contemplate turning Sean over to the Feds. The ensuing discussion was rich beyond my wildest expectations, finally resulting in a nuanced solution of his own making (Sean gets one last warning before my boy drops a dime) --- followed by an insistence that we read another of the stories, then another, then another.

In a story titled "Good News, Bad News," two sisters gather pledges to participate in a walk for the World Hunger Drive. When Niki sprains her ankle less than halfway through, she pleads with Leslie to go with her to the doctor. After she does (thereby failing to complete the walk), Leslie must decide whether to refund the money she collected from her friends and neighbors or to send it on to the World Hunger Drive, even though she hadn't finished.

Now that's a brow-knitter worth pondering, a wonderfully complex, multi-dimensional, real-world situation that demonstrates the impotence of a simplistic Ten Commandments approach to morality.

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